Pissed off

I guess I didn't really think I would get the job, and I certainly didn't today after I ran into Tracey and she sort of smiled at me blankly and said 'hello', but I still feel pissed off and hurt. It's clear to me, I think, that they were really just focusing on the managerial background and didn't actually give a rat's ass about stats or analysis skills, which is sort of in line with how this council does things. I just need to get out of here. It's gotten to where it's very difficult for me to focus on day to day work, because I'm so generally annoyed at Charlie, and because all I can think of is out out out out out. I also feel like my brain is turning into tapioca here--there are so many things I can do, but I don't have the experience to do any of them, so I'm right back into the position I was after college when basically I had no marketable skills whatsoever. I think I was designed to daydream and have big thoughts. Academia is probably actually where I should have been, had I only not left geology. I don't see any way to go back though, ever. I'm getting sick as well of repeating everything over and over again to Randolph--he's a lovely guy but my god he doesn't pick up on things very quickly. Basically, I just need out. I need to be surrounded by intelligent, interesting people, and I need to be doing something that is mentally challenging, instead of feeling mentally challenged. Sigh.

On the plus side--I love my new bike, though I'm annoyed that I'm going to have to adjust brakes. I can't decide whether to go out on Saturday or to have a sensible weekend and go for a bike ride. Obviously, that is the better choice, but I am really in the mood to go out and be silly. I wish it weren't so expensive. Anyway, I should go--I'm jsut going to make myself more pissed off the more I write--have to concentrate instead on looking busy and getting out job apps. What fun. Not.